News!

It is with a hopeful heart and many, many tears that I say, we've been matched. I say this because we have just been through so much it's hard to be excited. We thought we had matched last month but it didn't work out. I was already at the point I was ready to give up, then a few days later I got a phone call about "C", our birthmom. She seems really great. I have had several long conversations with her and I think that this is it. "C" is due March 1, 2008 and we don't know yet what she is having. She is in Southern California so, it's hard too because I feel like she is so far away. I just would love to be there for dr's appointments and things like that. I always thought that when we were finally matched I would have this magical, excited feeling and I just don't yet. Maybe its because its so early and March is so far away. I know though that this is the one, I am confident of that. I have to have faith and hope because sometimes thats all I have to go on. For all of you out there praying for us, please continue to do so!

We also have several other things happening in our lives. Right now we have legal custody of my nieces Aubrey and Allison. It is just temporary, for about 6 months. Life is very different when you throw a 6 yr old and a 4 yr old in the mix!!!! So they keep me very busy. Also, Jeremy will soon be taking a new job. He has for the past several months been going through the hiring process with the Border Patrol and I am excited to say he will soon be going to Artesia, New Mexico to training. It is a very rigorus training and it takes 5 months.

Well, I will wrap things up for now, it's bedtime!!!!

A puppy and some lunch

I've really been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. I am so tired. I'm tired of getting my hopes up and being let down. I think the last straw for me was my appointment the other day with my fertility doctor. Several months ago we did some tests, dna and genetics, and after we got neck deep in the adoption stuff I never went back. He called asking me to come in. So, he said that one of my tests came back pretty grim. My 13th and 14th chromosomes are twisted. This is passed on to every 3rd or 4th egg. If fertilized this could cause major birth defects. The only real chance of concieving on our own is with donor eggs or embryos with IVF. We had given up on this a long time ago, I just think that it just added to the stress. It just bring back that we will never have a child that is ours. I cannot give my husband a child. Anyway, I'm beginning to thing we need a break. Maybe a vacations and some time off from babies and the stress. Maybe we should just get a new puppy...... Kellie when is lunch?

Where do we go from here?

What do you say when you feel like your dreams have just died? I haven't heard anything new yet. I talked to Erica a few days ago and she said that they were trying very hard to link their domestic clients to a new agency who will finish their adoptions for the same amount of money that was owed. She said that we would know more in the "very near future." Am I supposed to trust them to just hand us over to just whoever? I suppose at this point what choice do we have?
I email the owner of Commonwealth requesting all money we paid to be sent back to us. The response I got back had no sense of urgency whatsoever. Only that they are working diligently to turn over all domestic clients to the yet to be named agency. I think of all the things that we have to do like updating the homestudy again, printing all new profiles. All these things take money. Money we don't have. I have been in contact with lots of people reguarding the class action lawsuit that is taking shape. The problem with that is that it doesn't help our present situation. It could take years for a settlement, if there even is one. I can remember feeling so sorry for all those people who lost everything with the first agency we were with. I thought that this would never happen to us. I guess I thought wrong.

Devastated and furious

For those of you that haven't heard yet, Commonwealth has decided to "cease providing adoption services". We have been completely blind sided by this. They have offered to had us to another agency, but no money back. What that means for us is that this very well be the end of our journey.....Pray for us and everyone that has been affected by this.

Just hanging out- waiting

Okay, so I haven't been so great about blogging lately. Between getting our profile together, school, and my new promotion at work, I have no time. Which is good I guess, keeps my mind occupied. So now profile is done and sent, school is winding down and I am now just hanging out, waiting. Oh, I also uploaded our profile to the Commonwealth website. I do have my job though... I am so excited to be the new Store Manager at Cato Fashions here in my town. It is such a great opportunity. I just hope now that we're matched quick. Just pray for us! I'll try to update more, too.

Profile help!!!!

Okay, so there's nothing new to really talk about. I went back to school this summer to finish up, I only like a few classes and now that we're not traveling, the is just right! Anyway, I do need help with my profile!!! Any suggestions? I AM NOT a crafty person. I would much just hand all my pics and stuff over to someone else who has an imagination, lol! I mean, I have to have 12 copies of this. What do I put it in? Do I make one copy and like take it somewhere and have it copied???? I am the kind of person wh has to have examples to go by, you know show me once and I can do it. UGGGGGG!!!!! EMAIL ME PEOPLE! (new adoption related email address ababy4peppers@yahoo.com) Anyway, I guess we're still just waiting as usual!

Yes, that's my final answer!!!!

Okay, so we sent in our application to Commonwealth today! This is our FINAL move. This has to work out for us. We are out of options, lol. I really have to laugh to keep from crying. I still feel strongly that Kaz was just NOT the place for us. Some people think I am just crazy for this. My gut still tells me that I'm right. But, I feel we made the right decision for us. I talked to Erica from Commonwealth today. We were really impressed with their references and Erica, our new adoption coodinator is sooooo nice. I told her everything that we had been through and she thought that we had made the right choice. At the end of the day we just couldn't trust a facilitator and we really did our research on this one. Gretchen thanks so much for your encouagement! And congrats again :) I am so happy for you! Hugs and Kisses, Manda

New Pics

I just thought I'd share with everyone the new pics of me and my hubby! I thought they were really great! Nothing new to report on the adoption front. Just keeping the faith, praying that something will come up. I've talked to a new agency, Commonwealth, the one Gretchen uses and they seem great. In fact I talked to the lady that works with her, Erica. Anyway, shes sendin' me some info. Other than that I have nothing, anyway....

Patience

Patience.... I have none. I should have known how hard waiting was going to be but, it is just hard. Though I have not lost sight of what we have wanted for so long, I am just tired. (if that makes sense) I sometimes just ask the Lord for a sign that what we're doing is what we should be doing. I need a direction and I need it now! I am so busy waiting on the big things to happen that I am missing out on the small things. That's not fair to me or anybody else. I just pray that I can have the patience and faith to keep it all together because sometimes I think I am losing my mind........

Oh well.....it's ok

Okay, well, things didn't work out with the match. Like I said earlier, I didn't get my hopes up and things are fine. I am however throwing myself into having a really great profile, which I want to put together myself. It seems so impersonal to have someone else do it. I know that there is a baby out there for us. I am not hopeless. I know that the timing is just not right yet, but it will happen! :)

A ray of hope

Well, we were contacted to day with a possible match! I'm NOT getting my hopes up but it seems really hopeful! The mother is from Alabama and is due May 4th. The baby is 1/2 cau and 1/2 hispanic and it's a boy! It seems too good to be true and probably is! They are presenting us to her so please, please pray for us. We also were presented with a few other situations so that just incase this doesn't work out that there are other options which were all the same race. I am so nervous that I could puke. It seems so quick that it's almost hard to imagine. That's probably why it seems so unreal. Do people really match this quick?????

A whole new world

I just had to share this, I I luv the way that Coco crosses her feet. Matty looks so old with her gray beard!!!!

The past week has been very interesting as we explore our options for domestic adoption. We are still very excited and I'm more anxious than EVER! We have found several options for agencies/facilitators. I really want to research before we decide. I kinda feel like I'm test driving cars, lol. Jeremy said the other day, what if its a girl?!? We are totally unprepared for a girl, lol. We have a nursery full of little boys things! We will manage I can assure you!!!!!

A tough decision

After much prayer, thought, consideration, we have made a decision that I want to share with everyone. We have decided to change our adoption plans and do a domestic adoption. With everything that has been going on and the new changes that have to be made to home studies and dossiers, we are feeling less and less comfortable with the situation. We have found a wonderful organization called Lifetime Adoptions that we had a phone interview with on Friday that we may sign with. They aren't actually an agency, they're a facilitator, matching birth mothers with adoptive families. Because we aren't race or gender specific, they said that it is highly likely that we may be matched with a birth mother within 3 to 6 months. (But, I'm not going to get my hopes up.) It's hard to change our game plan so late in the game, I feel like I'm leaving my heart in Kaz. Please pray for us and the decision we have to make. Hugs and Kisses!!!!!

Fun with immigration

Whew, 1 more thing done! We drove 2 hours to get to Birmingham to get fingerprinted at Immigration and were finished in like 10 minutes! It was totally worth it though. While we were in town we decided to go "sight-see", if you can call it that. See, there is this HUGE iron statue called the Vulcan (I tried to post pictures and couldn't, you'll have to google him, his butt is bare from behind, lol)and they have made this cool park there anyway....You can go up in this glass elevator to the top and look at the observatory and it has a breathtaking view. After that we decided to make it a day and go out to eat. After careful consideration we decided to try Landry's Seafood. All I have to say is yummmmmy. If you ever go there have the Red Beans and Rice and add a skewer of grilled shrimp. Jeremy has been home all week since his truck is in the shop and I have to say, I'm spoiled. While he is gone I don't eat near as much, it's going to take me a month to lose the weight I've gained! Well, sleep calls!

The suspension is lifted!!!!!!

The suspension is lifted!!!!!! I think those are the best words I've heard all week.
This is what was posted today re: Kaz adoptions....

----------
March 25, 2008

On Monday, March 24th, Joint Council met with Kazakhstan Ambassador to the United States Erlan Idrissov and Deputy Assistant Secretary of State Michelle Bond. The meeting addressed the Ambassador’s concerns regarding adoptions between the United States and Kazakhstan and confirmed the ongoing review of all adoptions cases currently at the Kazakhstan Embassy in Washington D.C. The Ambassador kindly detailed Kazakhstan’s efforts to ensure that intercountry adoptions are in the best interest of each child and conducted within an ethical and legal framework. He also expressed Kazakhstan’s efforts to utilize the tenets of the Hague Convention in both current and future laws.

Joint Council is pleased to report that at the conclusion of the meeting, the Ambassador confirmed that the temporary suspension of dossier processing by the Embassy is lifted and dossier’s meeting all necessary criteria will be processed. Dossiers not meeting the criteria will be held at the Embassy until all issues and concerns are successfully resolved. The Ambassador also confirmed that a review of all adoption service providers and family dossiers is ongoing and will remain in effect until further notice. During this review period, adoption service providers and potential adoptive parents should expect ongoing delays in processing times. No specific time line for the processing of dossiers is currently available.

It remains Joint Council’s understanding that in adoption cases where the dossier has already been processed by the Kazakhstan Embassy and forward to Astana are not affected by the review process noted above.

The Kazakhstan Embassy, U.S. Department of State and Joint Council have agreed to work collaboratively over the coming weeks to ensure that the goal of ethical, legal adoptions under the tenets of the Hague Convention are met in a timely fashion and in the best interest of each child. Joint Council hopes to meet with Consular Chief Almat Aidarbekov in the coming days to discuss specific issues related to child welfare in the U.S. and Kazakhstan.

Joint Council extends our sincere thanks and appreciation to Ambassador Idrissov and Deputy Assistant Secretary Bond for their efforts on behalf of the children we serve. We also applaud Ambassador Idrissov’s commitment to ethical child welfare and to ensuring a safe, loving and permanent family for every child.

----------

I guess that means business as usual. We had talked to Maeven yesterday about the situation and decided that we were headed in a positive direction and she seemed like the situation was no big deal so...... Anyway we go to Birmingham on Friday to be fingerprinted for our I-171. Progress, I guess!

Looking back

I think alot about where I was exactly one year ago today. I try to remember if I saw my Daddy or not. I can't remember the last time I saw him exactly. I know that really sounds strange. I can remember the exact last words he told me and the tone of his voice, but I can't remember the last time I saw his face. One year ago tomorrow he will have been gone for one year and it seems like an eternity. I miss him so very much and I was really trying to hold it together and be strong but, when I saw his picture staring back at me earlier today I just kept trying to remember and I can't. I have moments when I'm mad and hurt that he took himself away from us and I know it sounds selfish. He wanted me to adopt so bad and now here we are, knee deep and I just really wish he was here to share all the ups and downs with us. I will teach Garrett all about his "Pawdad" (that's what my nieces call him) and tell him all the stories I can about him. It's still just really hard though.

More questions than answers

I wasn't real sure what to think about all the rumors going around this week about the Kaz program being suspended until I went to www.jcicis.org/Kazakhstan, and this is what I found.



March 17, 2008 -

Joint Council confirms the suspension of dossier processing by the Kazakhstan Embassy and Consulates pending the finalization of a review of adoption cases by the Kazakhstan government. The following represents our understanding of the suspension:

The suspension of dossier processing by the Kazakhstan Embassy/Consulate is effective immediately.
Dossiers which have been processed and fowarded to Almaty will be permitted to continue through to finalization.
Dossiers which have not yet been processed by the Embassy/Consulate will not be forwarded to Almaty and will remain at the Kazakhstan Embassy/Consulate pending the completion of the review noted above.
Kazakhstan Embassy/Consulate will not accept new dossiers pending the completion of the review noted above.

Joint Council hopes to meet with Kazakhstan officials soon and will continue to provide updates and information.
------------------------------------


So, now what do we do? Do we submit a dossier to sit and collect dust? Do we change countries? Do we wait it out until we're old and gray and hope for the best? I'm very frustrated. We are supposed to go in the 28th and be fingerprinted for our I600-A and I'm not sure how this will all go down..........

Haircuts and completed homestudies

Well, first of all the most important thing..... Congrats Suz and Matt !!!!!!! Have a save trip and bring back your babies!!!!!! I am so very happy for you after all your patience and prayers. ( P words, lol) Tears of joy were flowin' for you in Alabama today. Matt, I hope you finished "laundering" all that money! Okay, now the second most important thing, check out my fierce new haircut. I got up the other day and decided the long hair had to go so I went to see my friend Jana, who I went to cosmetology school with, and I said just have fun with it! I trust her more than anyone when it comes to my hair! Turned out pretty cute, huh?



We also got back our completed homestudy this week. It was very interesting to read what they had to say about us. Its kinda funny how you have to trust these complete strangers who meet you a total of two to three times and pay all this money to make such a judgement about your life. I mean, no offense, people who can have children of there own really don't appreciate the gift that they have been given. I guess it guess back to my earlier post where I ranted and raved when Muriel was having problems at the beginning of her pregnancy. Its like this week when the woman in Houston threw her two little boys off the overpass during lunch traffic. Where is her homestudy?




This is my favorite of Letter of Favorable Recommendation, lol. I had better shut up before they change their minds. I am totally excited to have it back and be working on our dossier again. I am ready to travel like tomorrow if we could but in reality I know it will more than likely be the end of the year or first of next year, so I better just be patient.

Anyway. Papaw Frank is back in the hospital today. He went in for his first cancer treatment and his platelets were supposed to be over 100 and they were only 1, so his cancer doc sent him straight over. So, everyone sent good vibes and prayers his way, he has a BIG mountain to climb. Good night and God Bless! Kisses!

911!!!!!

Okay, first of all, THANKS SBP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got home on Monday and got a huge surprise. My SBP, from Wouldn't I like to know, sent me lots of fun goodies which I luv so very much! I had to play with all of it, lol! Then I went to my MaMaws house to spend the night..........
Thats when it all went downhill, see, my cell phone needed to be charged so I plugged in my charger and when I did....I set the house on fire. Yes, I shocked myself with 22o volts and set the living room on fire. It wasn't really my fault (no pun intended) it was a "faulty" plug. My Papaw knew the plug was bad and had a chair in front of it which has since been moved. Anyway..... Thanks to some quick thinking on the part of my sister-in-law Jenny who probably saved my life by throwing me to the floor and called 911, and my brother who started tearing out the wall and putting out the fire, all ended well.

Except for the wall and my poor phone charger of course! I had to charge my phone last night at home and really thought twice before I plugged it into the wall!

Fun Stuff!!!

Okay like FOREVER ago I promise pics of our "nursery-in-progress" and SBP pics and never really got around to it soooooo here they are!!!! (finally) Some of the pics I wanted to put on here were to dark for some reason but we have a beautiful chest and bookcase/dresser that match the bed. Anyway have a great day and God bless everyone and I luv, luv, luv you all!!!! I seriously want to sleep with this every night myself. It is so soft and cuddly. It plays "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" when you mash his tummy! I am in love with him and Jeremy make fun of me! Tigger is my new man......

I know these are seriously over due! I have no concept of time here lately! This was soooo adorable from my last SBP Dori! Thanks again!

Like I said in the earlier post, Gabby LOVES Nathans Dog Treats!!!! She goes nuts when I come in with a bag and when I got these from Dori it was so funny!

This is the cutest mobile. It has big trucks hanging from it!!!!! I know that Garrett is gonna be older but I believe ever baby should have a mobile.

(This one got a lil off center, haha)

This is a really good shot of the blanket that carries our theme. BIG TRUCKS!!! The bumper pad has the big trucks going around it and the fitted sheets are a red and off white gingham which I would like to have more of but can't seem to find anywhere. I love it so much, I hope Garrett will too.

Long days.....

I'm so sorry it's took so long to get back to everyone. It's been a really long and difficult couple of weeks. My Papaw passed away on the 18th and his funeral was on the 20th. During all that I got a pneumonia-like illness and had a really hig fever at the viewing and funeral. (I didn't go to the doctor because I was afraid they would put me in the hospital) My Mamaw was too sick to be there and has been in the hospital and went to the nursing home for therapy a few days ago. At the same time Jeremy's Papaw Frank got really sick and his lungs started filling up with fluid and they've already drained it twice. The doctor believes that it may be cancer but won't be able to be able to tell for sure until they can get the fluid to keep coming back, so they're going to be putting in a tube to keep it drained so that can do some more tests. There's just so much been going on between going from work, to the hospital, to the nursing home. I just have to keep focused and keep praying, because we our Mamaw and Papaw Frank to come home soon and get better so that they will be able to get to know our little G-man!!!!!!

Update

Just a note to let everyone know, Papaw made it through the night and through today. That doesn't mean he's going to make it. He's passing slowly and it's hard to watch. My whole world has been wrapped around Mamaw and Papaw, especially since my Daddy died. (his parents passed when I was very young) Thanks to everyone who emailed and called with encouraging words and prayers!

A very long week

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. My grandparents have been very sick and last night my Papaw took a turn for the worst. We're not really sure that he'll make it through the day. Please keep us in your prayers.

Thoughtless Thursday........

Who really needs words? Isn't my niece just adorable????

The big reveal

Hello Sarah! Glad to finally be able to say that I was your SBP! And thank you so much Dori, I can't wait til Garrett can snuggle with me in his p.j.'s !!!!! We can all follow each others journey now, that was so much fun!

Now a note from Mommy

I haven't been feeling that great the last couple of days. Not that I've been sick or anything, just kinda down in the dumps. I think that I'm just kinda run down and tired. I know that I really need a vactation and some ME time like majorly bad and that ain't happening anytime soon. And to top it all off we've had quit a few financial set backs. I know that God will take care of us, he always has provided for us I know that things will be okay. The first thing that happened when I looked at my e-mail was something like a sign from above that something would come up, thanks Suz! You are the best!

Yesterday I spent the whole day with Drew (my 12 year old brother) at the E.R. Come to find out after sitting there for hours he had pneumonia. He had a 103.7 temp and was dehydrated. He had to have two bags fluids and a bag of antibiotics. They didn't keep him but told him to stay home from school for two days and follow up with his doc on Wednesday. He feels some better today.

Anyway, thanks again SBP. You are great. The dogs love you so much. Sorry I didn't post this days ago, I will post pics soon of my pups goin' nuts, I can't find my USB cord, it got "put up" in the big home study clean up, but I will very soon!

Thanks SBP!

Paws for a note from Gabby......

Mommy got a big box in the mail on Thursday (I know we're a little late, mom will explain later) . It was from her Secret blog pal! She was soooo excited I thought she was going to pee all over the place just like me! She said her pal was from Charlotte, NC just like our Uncle Jeff and Aunt Missy, small world, huh? She opened it up and there was all kinds of cool stuff in there. Garrett got a Tigger that is so soft that when you squeeze his belly it plays a pretty song, he got some cozy flannel pjs and now I'm getting to the best part. I got some treats, but not just any old treats. NATHANS DOG TREATS. My favorite. Mommy says I have to share them with Spike though, darnit. She got some Reeses heart shaped Valentine human treats but I can't have any of those because the last time I ate Reeses I had to go the vet and stay for two whole days and get i.v.'s and stuff because they said dogs weren't supposed to eat chocolate. Anyway pictures will follow later, promise!!!!

Luv,

Gabs

P.S.- Recipes Please

I almost forgot.... Could everyone please go to this blog and check this out! These ladies are working really hard for the orphans in Kaz! They are putting together a recipe book and need help so, please help!!!!!!

http://www.twoheartsforhope.blogspot.com/

It will only take a minute!

I don't want to keep copying Muriel but, this is such a GREAT cause and I had read it on MySpace also so I thought I would pass it along and keep it going!

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to Autism Speaks for each time the video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. Link to the site

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214=20

PLEASE, PLEASE check it out and pass it along!!!!

I was tagged!

Okay, this is fun.... But I don' t really know 7 people to tag cuz everyone has already been tagged but I'll try!

~The rules are to link the person who sent this to you and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours.
~Post the rules on your blog
~Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself
~Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog

1) I have a 12 year old brother AND a 12 year old nephew

2) I love Nascar

3) I love horror movies, books, shows about the supernatural, etc.

4) I have hundreds of Barbie dolls, in the box, from my youth, in my attic

5) I'm a packrat

6) I hate spit and people spitting and general mouth related issues such as the dentist and cleaning my teeth, ewwww!

7) I under NO circumstances want to be buried when I die! I am very claustrophobic so everyone like to make fun of me about this and this is one of my most personal issues and when I even think about it I loose my breath!

Gloomy, Cold Saturday......

I really don't have a whole lot to say today and I've been trying to post everyday. It's been a really gloomy, gray, cold Saturday so I went and played with baby Caitlin today. That would make anyone feel better.

Okay, so I stole this from Muriels blog, but I love it so very much and I want my family and friends to be able to see and read it.

You Know You Are an Adoptive Mother (or you should be!) if:

1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has ever made you lose sleep.

2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.

3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.

4. The fact that if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child, there would be no orphans in the world is convicting to you. (Think about this!!!)

5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.

6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about your adopted child's "real" parents.

7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth (2 years!)

8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway knowing where God calls you He will provide.

9. You have ever taken a airplane ride half way around the world with a child you just met.

10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.

11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacy's you could ever leave on this earth.

12. You know what the word Dossier means and you can actually pronounce it!

13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.

14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have them in your life.

Author Unknown

That was a breeze :)

Our home study is done, well our home visits are anyway. The ladies that did our visits said they would send us our copies in a couple of weeks and that they would send everything to our agency! I am so excited I could scream from the rooftop! I am going to work on finishing my dossier now. Oh and somehow get my hunny started on his Hep series. I've had mine from working in the healthcare field, but anyway I guess one step at a time, lol! And I am not complaining!!!!!!!

I will miss Heath

I was shocked to turn on the TV last night and find out about the sudden death of Heath Ledger. I love Heath. He has always been one of my favorite actors. One of my favorite movies is "10 Things I Hate About You". I was really excited to hear that he was going to play the Joker in the newest Batman movie. When anyone passes suddenly you will hear rumors, believe me, I know first hand about that. I heard that he had been having some trouble with insomnia which I totally relate to, having problems with insomnia in the past myself. After my Daddy died for months I had problems sleeping and was taking meds to help me sleep and was also having problems with night terrors, which the doctor told me was normal after a traumatic event. I was sleeping only a few hours every night. Things eventually went back to some type of normal, I mean I lost my father very suddenly. I really feel sorry for the Ledger family. The lost a son, a brother and a father at a very young age. I can't wait to see Batman so I can see his final performance as an actor!

1 down, 1 to go

Today went better than I ever could've imagined. After almost 24 solid hours of cleaning and my mini panic attack, everything is great. There were two SW that came today. One named Brittney who is working on her license and Leah, who is licensed already. They asked some questions like, why we want to adopt, how long we dated before we met, etc. It was pretty basic. We have 2 more actual interviews to go, but 1 more home visit. They were impressed with our house and loves Garretts room. Our little Gabby was so good during the visit, she hopped up in Leahs lap and acted like a little angel! I was sooo impressed, lol! Looking forward to Friday now!

My favorite people!!!!

Daddy and Gabby
I thought thought that I would let everybody see the pics of my favorite people today! Enjoy!!!!!

My niece Aubrey



My niece Ally


My baby Gabby


Me and Danielle











I thought this last pic was just really pretty, this is Danielle, my sister in law and her daughter, my niece Caitlin Grace, aren't they beautiful?

Sadness deep in my heart

A certain agency really pulled a good one this week and we all know who I'm talking about. I hate it really bad not just because people lost a lot of money but because a lot of people lost dreams. I hope that it's just temporary set backs for the most of them. I know that personally that we could not have financially withstood to have lost anything to them. We are by no means rich and are having to borrow and fundraise for ALOT of our adoption. I'm just really glad to have gotten out when we did and to not have gotten in any deeper than we did. I just look at all these blogs and think how lucky we are but how sad I am for everyone else and I am very sorry for them. I know how long we have waited for our dreams to come true and it's just so very wrong.

Anyway, I have a really big week ahead of me and I am really excited. I think I am the most excited I have been for the very beginning. I got a letter yesterday saying the state of Alabama got my prints back from the FBI so, after my home visits, they can just edit and send it to the state. No waiting on my prints. Progress.....

HOMESTUDY!!!!!!!! (finally)

I guess good things come to those who wait..... Our home visits are next Wednesday and Friday!!!!!!!! I am super excited!!!!!!!! And nervous. I have no freakin' idea what to expect. Any ideas and suggestions are appreciated! I know that it isn't anything to freak out over and we should be super casual about it but, ahhhhhh!!!!! Anybody wanna come help me clean???? lol

A Really Fun Day!

Yesterday, we woke up and decided to get up and just get in the car and go somewhere for the day and spend time together. We were not sure where we were going, until we got there. We started traveling and decided to go to Birmingham, Alabama which is about 2 hours south of here. We looked at "big trucks" along the way. (Jeremy is in the trucking industry, and can't decided whether he wants to buy a new truck or rebuild his engine) Anyway, next stop- Joe's Crab Shack, not on the diet plan, Suz, sorry! OMG! It was soooooo good! I had crab stuffed mushrooms and popcorn shrimp, oh and a margarita! yummy! Then we decided to go to a movie, I've been wanting to see, I Am Legend ,since it came out. It was wicked interesting. I cried when the dog died! The dog could have lived damnit, but anyway, it had been a long day so we headed home to our "children" Gabby and Spike. We though that the day would be complete without ice cream so we made the trip to the local Dairy Queen for Blizzards, the end to our perfect day!

P.S.

Me and Jeremy are now offically signed with Adoption Ark.....Cheers for us!!!!

Another Rainy Day

So, who did the rain dance? It is thundering, lightning, raining and we've been under a toronado warning today. On top of all of that I have had to work today with my back hurting really, really bad. My vertibres are swollen and inflamed. It is actually hot to touch and I am having muscle spasms on top of that. If I take a muscle relaxer I go to sleep so I can't so that and work so, I guess I'll suffer through it so...... Anyway prayers for Muriel... I can't get her off my mind today, being in her shoes three times. Believe me it is not a good feeling. One time a nurse practitioner working for my OBGYN termed it a "bad pregnancy". I thought that was completely uncalled for. When all you what in the world is a baby and to finally see those two pink lines, then comes the spotting and cramping, then the drawing of the blood. Then your the nurse tells you how sorry she is but you can always try again, or your so young. I am just to the point that emotionally I CAN NOT handle that anymore. No more. That's why we decided to adopt. I want to just be a mother, to just love a child. We just want to be parents whether its a biological child or adopted child. I have seen some of the best people on the face of the earth not be able to have a child and on the flip side I have seen the scum of the earth have the most beautiful babies only, to have them taken away....Why?

Resolutions, anyone???? : )

I hope everyone is having a great New Year! I woke up this morning in horrible shape with my back with swollen discs and the whole nine yards! Ugggg!!! But anyway......Okay, so, as fas as resolutions go, I need to lose 30 pounds, well 32 pounds. So, now I 'm on Topamax for my migraines which has among other things, the the wonderful side effect of appetite suppression. Let me tell you, I am NOT hungry. Nothing tastes good. This morning I tried to eat a banana and it was just horrible. I was able to wash my morning meds down with a Slim Fast which does have protein and vitamins in it. Carbonated beverages are completely nasty! Yuck! They taste like a mouth full of sugar. I have actually lose 4 pounds in 5 days which I'm not sure is good or bad. I am a little tired but another side effect of the drug is fatigue and also, I am working extra because of the adoption and so forth. I am also in the low dose stage of this medication taking 25mg in the am and in the pm. On Friday I will take 25 in the am and 50 in the pm. The following Friday I will take my max dose of 50 in the am and 50 in the pm. My doctor says the side effects will level off after the first two weeks thank goodness! Has anyone else out there in blogland took Topamax with a side effect of weight loss? Have a great day!!!!!