Adoption take 3 (or 4?)

Well, it's pretty safe to say that adopting a baby hasn't been the most successful thing for us. It has been a hard, hard road. The last match obviously didn't work out for us and it was absolutely devastating. The birthmom just dropped all contact with our facilitator and who knows what happened to her or her baby. So we took a break, which was very much needed. Then our facilitator called last week and had a birthmom that had previously been matched and for whatever reason it didn't work out. It is a baby girl and she is due July 27th. So after a lot of prayer, we once again are going to take the leap of faith. Everyone please, please pray that this works out for us. It's hard to get excited after everything we've been through.

News!

It is with a hopeful heart and many, many tears that I say, we've been matched. I say this because we have just been through so much it's hard to be excited. We thought we had matched last month but it didn't work out. I was already at the point I was ready to give up, then a few days later I got a phone call about "C", our birthmom. She seems really great. I have had several long conversations with her and I think that this is it. "C" is due March 1, 2008 and we don't know yet what she is having. She is in Southern California so, it's hard too because I feel like she is so far away. I just would love to be there for dr's appointments and things like that. I always thought that when we were finally matched I would have this magical, excited feeling and I just don't yet. Maybe its because its so early and March is so far away. I know though that this is the one, I am confident of that. I have to have faith and hope because sometimes thats all I have to go on. For all of you out there praying for us, please continue to do so!

We also have several other things happening in our lives. Right now we have legal custody of my nieces Aubrey and Allison. It is just temporary, for about 6 months. Life is very different when you throw a 6 yr old and a 4 yr old in the mix!!!! So they keep me very busy. Also, Jeremy will soon be taking a new job. He has for the past several months been going through the hiring process with the Border Patrol and I am excited to say he will soon be going to Artesia, New Mexico to training. It is a very rigorus training and it takes 5 months.

Well, I will wrap things up for now, it's bedtime!!!!

A puppy and some lunch

I've really been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. I am so tired. I'm tired of getting my hopes up and being let down. I think the last straw for me was my appointment the other day with my fertility doctor. Several months ago we did some tests, dna and genetics, and after we got neck deep in the adoption stuff I never went back. He called asking me to come in. So, he said that one of my tests came back pretty grim. My 13th and 14th chromosomes are twisted. This is passed on to every 3rd or 4th egg. If fertilized this could cause major birth defects. The only real chance of concieving on our own is with donor eggs or embryos with IVF. We had given up on this a long time ago, I just think that it just added to the stress. It just bring back that we will never have a child that is ours. I cannot give my husband a child. Anyway, I'm beginning to thing we need a break. Maybe a vacations and some time off from babies and the stress. Maybe we should just get a new puppy...... Kellie when is lunch?

Where do we go from here?

What do you say when you feel like your dreams have just died? I haven't heard anything new yet. I talked to Erica a few days ago and she said that they were trying very hard to link their domestic clients to a new agency who will finish their adoptions for the same amount of money that was owed. She said that we would know more in the "very near future." Am I supposed to trust them to just hand us over to just whoever? I suppose at this point what choice do we have?
I email the owner of Commonwealth requesting all money we paid to be sent back to us. The response I got back had no sense of urgency whatsoever. Only that they are working diligently to turn over all domestic clients to the yet to be named agency. I think of all the things that we have to do like updating the homestudy again, printing all new profiles. All these things take money. Money we don't have. I have been in contact with lots of people reguarding the class action lawsuit that is taking shape. The problem with that is that it doesn't help our present situation. It could take years for a settlement, if there even is one. I can remember feeling so sorry for all those people who lost everything with the first agency we were with. I thought that this would never happen to us. I guess I thought wrong.

Devastated and furious

For those of you that haven't heard yet, Commonwealth has decided to "cease providing adoption services". We have been completely blind sided by this. They have offered to had us to another agency, but no money back. What that means for us is that this very well be the end of our journey.....Pray for us and everyone that has been affected by this.

Just hanging out- waiting

Okay, so I haven't been so great about blogging lately. Between getting our profile together, school, and my new promotion at work, I have no time. Which is good I guess, keeps my mind occupied. So now profile is done and sent, school is winding down and I am now just hanging out, waiting. Oh, I also uploaded our profile to the Commonwealth website. I do have my job though... I am so excited to be the new Store Manager at Cato Fashions here in my town. It is such a great opportunity. I just hope now that we're matched quick. Just pray for us! I'll try to update more, too.

Profile help!!!!

Okay, so there's nothing new to really talk about. I went back to school this summer to finish up, I only like a few classes and now that we're not traveling, the is just right! Anyway, I do need help with my profile!!! Any suggestions? I AM NOT a crafty person. I would much just hand all my pics and stuff over to someone else who has an imagination, lol! I mean, I have to have 12 copies of this. What do I put it in? Do I make one copy and like take it somewhere and have it copied???? I am the kind of person wh has to have examples to go by, you know show me once and I can do it. UGGGGGG!!!!! EMAIL ME PEOPLE! (new adoption related email address ababy4peppers@yahoo.com) Anyway, I guess we're still just waiting as usual!