Thursday, August 14, 2008

A puppy and some lunch

I've really been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. I am so tired. I'm tired of getting my hopes up and being let down. I think the last straw for me was my appointment the other day with my fertility doctor. Several months ago we did some tests, dna and genetics, and after we got neck deep in the adoption stuff I never went back. He called asking me to come in. So, he said that one of my tests came back pretty grim. My 13th and 14th chromosomes are twisted. This is passed on to every 3rd or 4th egg. If fertilized this could cause major birth defects. The only real chance of concieving on our own is with donor eggs or embryos with IVF. We had given up on this a long time ago, I just think that it just added to the stress. It just bring back that we will never have a child that is ours. I cannot give my husband a child. Anyway, I'm beginning to thing we need a break. Maybe a vacations and some time off from babies and the stress. Maybe we should just get a new puppy...... Kellie when is lunch?

5 comments:

Kellie with an "ie" said...

E-mail me girlfriend, and we'll work out a time!

Doripink said...

Honey...don't give up...you are so strong. Take a break if you want, I think that's an awesome idea, but you WILL be a mommy one day. Only God knows, but in His perfect timing you will have a baby. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love-Dori

P.S We bought 2 puppies after we were told we couldn't have children 5 years ago. Now we have 2 dogs and 2 kids...Buying a puppy might be fun!

Mell said...

Amanda,
I feel your pain, believe me I do. In fact when I read your blog I started crying because I know the hurt you feel right now.
I was so fortunate to be able to raise our son from my husband's first marriage and eventually adopt him, but I WANTED with all of my being to conceive. I wanted to have OUR baby. After many trips to the fertility doctors (plural) we finally decided to think about adoption. We had been married almost 16 years when we adopted Sophie. As much as I ached all of those years to have a child, the aching stopped with her. God knows your needs and HE has a perfect plan for you. Trust Him. It's not our timing but His.
I will continue to pray for you and Jeremy. God loves you both very much!
love,
Melanie

Matthew Ruley said...

Don't give up on your dreams and hopes. You are a good person with hope and faith. You deserve to have a family.

I'd take you to lunch but I'm a little far...

Thinking of you!

Matthew Ruley said...

Checking in!