I think alot about where I was exactly one year ago today. I try to remember if I saw my Daddy or not. I can't remember the last time I saw him exactly. I know that really sounds strange. I can remember the exact last words he told me and the tone of his voice, but I can't remember the last time I saw his face. One year ago tomorrow he will have been gone for one year and it seems like an eternity. I miss him so very much and I was really trying to hold it together and be strong but, when I saw his picture staring back at me earlier today I just kept trying to remember and I can't. I have moments when I'm mad and hurt that he took himself away from us and I know it sounds selfish. He wanted me to adopt so bad and now here we are, knee deep and I just really wish he was here to share all the ups and downs with us. I will teach Garrett all about his "Pawdad" (that's what my nieces call him) and tell him all the stories I can about him. It's still just really hard though.
3 comments:
My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
You are a beautiful, strong, caring woman and he would be very proud of you.
Take one day at a time.
Amanda,
I missed talking with you Sunday too. I wanted to encourage you on the adoption, your faith, on grieving your dad...everything. The verse that I clung to when I was waiting for a child was "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." God knows your heart and what it truly desires. Somedays, that's all the hope I have. And actually, it's all the hope I need. I will be praying for you and Jeremy...
Amanda,
I'm so so sorry for your hurt and I just want you to know you are in my prayers.
Love,
Melanie
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