Thursday, January 10, 2008
Another Rainy Day
So, who did the rain dance? It is thundering, lightning, raining and we've been under a toronado warning today. On top of all of that I have had to work today with my back hurting really, really bad. My vertibres are swollen and inflamed. It is actually hot to touch and I am having muscle spasms on top of that. If I take a muscle relaxer I go to sleep so I can't so that and work so, I guess I'll suffer through it so...... Anyway prayers for Muriel... I can't get her off my mind today, being in her shoes three times. Believe me it is not a good feeling. One time a nurse practitioner working for my OBGYN termed it a "bad pregnancy". I thought that was completely uncalled for. When all you what in the world is a baby and to finally see those two pink lines, then comes the spotting and cramping, then the drawing of the blood. Then your the nurse tells you how sorry she is but you can always try again, or your so young. I am just to the point that emotionally I CAN NOT handle that anymore. No more. That's why we decided to adopt. I want to just be a mother, to just love a child. We just want to be parents whether its a biological child or adopted child. I have seen some of the best people on the face of the earth not be able to have a child and on the flip side I have seen the scum of the earth have the most beautiful babies only, to have them taken away....Why?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I ask myself that all the time! Why can such morons become parents with no problems! Why is it that I have to be interrogated by a social worker over and over again for the next 5 years but completely incompetent people can have 5, 6, 7 kids!
Good questions. I mean you can kind of understand, that IF you're going to be parents, then you should be good parents (not murderers etc). Unfortunately, they've gone the other way, that if you want to adopt children, then you're interogated and investigated like a criminal.
When we started this adoption thing (orig w/ China, which has much more stringent medicals), one of my blood tests came back wrong and I had to have an ultrasound of the abdomin. I remember laying there thinking, I thought I'd do this when I was pregnant, and I envisioned Matt here with me. It would be a joyful, excited event, not an inspection to see if I'm healthy enough to adopt. I just layed there with the tears streaming down my face, trying not to let the technician see. It was hard to miss cause I was also sniffly and snotty, and probably all read and puffy.
My favorite phrases I came across pertaining to these issues (and you've probably heard them) are:
-"If everyone had to go through what adoptive parents have to to have children, there'd be a lot less people in the world." and...
-"There is no such thing as an accidental adoption." Ironically, sometimes it takes so long to complete an adoption that others can get "accidentally" pregnant a few times.
There could be an entirely new pregnancy and second birth since I started this adoption process.
I stubbled accross your blog and wanted to say hello! My husband and I adopted our son, Maksim, from Kaz in 2005. He is the love of our life! I had to chuckle when I read your post on who is and is not having kids. I used to look at parents in stores YELLING at their kids for nothing, and I would look at my husband or my friends and say "That woman can give birth to children and I can't..." Very much like you, it wasn't the giving birth that ended up being so important to me, it was being a Mom. And I LOVE being a Mom. I am double as lucky, becasue when we were in Kaz meeting our son, I got pregnant. Wonders never cease...now we have 2beautiful "Kaz" kids. Good luck on your adoption adventure!
Thanks for your thoughts and good vibes girl! I am so glad you are well on your way to your little guy.
Post a Comment